Hypnotherapy: My Experience Letting Go Of The Past

Early September 2020 I made the decision to work through some deep-rooted issues from my past by undergoing a hypnotherapy session. I had never done this before, but after the year I had I figured it was worth a shot.

First, let’s backtrack a bit as to why I needed this “reset” of my mind space. I had been dealing with what felt like a clogged flow of my mental energy for quite some time. Most of my adult life, actually. As to when it began exactly, I don’t really know. I just know I was tired of feeling so out of the present moment and disengaged with the world and my life. I always felt so disconnected and in my own head. And it needed to stop if I was ever going to move forward in a positive way. Because the thing was, I didn’t like living this way…at all. I was a passenger riding in the backseat of my life. And it needed to stop.

To be honest, there were several times I felt like I just “woke up” in a moment and had no idea what happened beforehand. It was just clips of memories and a haze. Almost as if I was gone and just showed up to the party. And I would feel so disappointed in myself because I could never stay present, no matter how hard I tried. It was as if all of the trauma and negative experiences I had in my life created a barrier between my past and my present, preventing me from fulfilling what I was meant to achieve in the future. Sadly, I was accustomed to feeling this way. I’d become so used to it, I wasn’t even aware there was an issue. I tacked it as “well, guess this is just who I am,” and left it at that.

The tipping point was when a dear friend of mine committed suicide during the great pandemic of 2020. To say this rocked my world is an understatement. As these occurrences go, it happened suddenly and completely took me off guard. This friend was like a brother to me and a big part of my daily life and routine. When he left this world, all of my routine and the happiness I associated with that routine, left with him.

I fell into a very deep depression. The days blended together, I had zero desire to take care of my well-being, let alone go to work every day and pretend everything was fine. I was struggling. BAD. And I knew I needed help if I was going to pull myself out of that dark place. I battled what I referred to as mood swings of emotions my entire life. So, I was no stranger to feeling this way when something happened to me that brought me down. But this was probably the worst it had ever been. And if I didn’t do something ASAP, it was only going to get worse.

I have a tendency of feeling the need to jumpstart myself when I need to get back on track. Zero to sixty that’s the way to do it, right? Guess I can attribute that to my Scorpioness. We are the sign of extremes, after all. I figured I would pull myself out of this rut by seeking therapy as well as a life coach. Someone who would kick my ass into gear ASAP and help me make my manifestations a reality.

In my search for both, I came across a woman who offered hypnotherapy along with life coaching sessions. Hypnotherapy? Interesting. I figured at this point nothing would be off limits if it helped me get back to a good place again, mentally. She was a bit pricey but her reviews were amazing. So I decided to reach out and schedule an appointment.

The day of the session, all I could think about was how excited and nervous I was to try this new approach. I was in such an amazing place both physically and mentally before my friend passed away and I wanted desperately to get back there again. Not only for myself, but because I knew my friend wouldn’t have wanted me to continue down the dark mental path I was on. I was doing this for both of us. When the time came to head out, I grabbed a small snack, a water bottle and made the drive to Sun Valley.

I began to feel anxious as I parked and walked toward the front door. I was taking a huge leap of faith doing something out of my comfort zone and with a complete stranger at that. But if this helped me get my mind “right,” then I knew it would be worth it. As the life coach opened the door, her beautiful energy immediately put me at ease. I sat down with her and once we worked through the initial small talk, we got down to business.

She asked me why I was there. What I needed to work on and what I truly wanted to create in my life. The session was a two-hour one, but the bulk of it was us talking and really digging deep as to what was needed to manifest my desires. She asked me to discuss the events in my life that led up to how I was currently feeling and correlated with the things I wanted to work on. By the time I got to age 18, she said what I told her was quite a bit already. The bulk of my trauma stemmed from my childhood anyway so I just added on the pain I was feeling from the loss of my friend and we got to work.

The crazy thing is during this session, she tapped into my friend’s energy and began relaying messages he was channeling through her to me. I was not expecting this at all, and I don’t think she was either. But it was a very powerful moment as she told me how sorry my friend was for the pain he caused me, how he knew about the letter I wrote to him and the necklace his sister gave me. I mean, c’mon guys, that’s pretty awesome, right? She tapped into a few other things he wanted me to know but those were the most significant. I’m pretty sensitive to energy so I could feel my friend’s energy in that room. I could feel where he was standing and even felt it when he sat down on the couch next to me. The vibrational energy in the room during that time was insane. And we hadn’t even started the hypnotherapy yet!

Once I was ‘ready’ I had to head over to a recliner, lie back with a face mask on and a blanket placed over me. I was a little nervous but I was thrilled to go on this mental journey after that coaching session. Once I managed to relax, we got started.

The interesting thing about hypnotherapy is it’s not about the hypnotherapist at all; they’re really only there to guide you through your own thoughts. Kind of like a tour guide of your brain. She 'guided' me to all the darker memories of my past and I watched as they melted away. Literally. My thoughts literally melted away when I envisioned them. It looked similar to when you wash paint off the canvas. At least that’s what I saw. I walked toward a huge open field, where there was a waterfall and came in contact with the people in my life I needed to remove my emotional attachment from. I stood across from them and said my goodbyes as I cut off the power they had over me. And then suddenly I was in the dark abyss of my mind. Complete pitch-black darkness.

Suddenly I saw myself lingering above, dressed in white, looking very angelic. This other me floated down onto the ground and as she did, she turned into this most beautiful version of myself. It seemed I came in contact with the version of me I was aspiring to become. Standing next to who l like to call “Ambra 2.0” was her/my husband. And he was pretty good looking if I do say so myself. The other Ambra introduced me to our future spouse and proceeded to ask “are you ready?” YES, I answered…because, duh. I stepped into my other self and could feel my vibrational energy shift up.

During this entire process I had an out of body experience as my spirit hovered over my body and watched as we transformed. I kissed myself on the forehead and went back into my body. The hypnotherapist began to guide me back to the physical realm and I slowly opened my eyes. All this happened in a matter of 25 minutes. But it felt like over an hour.

After this empowering session, I felt like I had opened up to a fresh start. I slept through the night (I typically wake up one to two times every night) and my mental clarity was on a whole other level. She reset my mind and I couldn’t be more grateful. After going through the motions most, okay all, of my adult life I finally felt like I was present. I was showing up late for my own party, but I was just glad that I finally showed up at all. The week after my sessions I was on a residual high from the impact this session had, but once it wore off I realized I couldn’t expect it to continue based off my experience alone. As the vibrational energy began to wane, I knew I had to keep it going by putting in the work. How would I do this? I had so much I needed to do to level up in my personal and work life that I began to feel overwhelmed. Instead of bulldozing through those emotions as I had done in the past, I sat down and wrote out all of the projects I was working on and broke them down into manageable deadlines. I knew if I was going to go where my purpose was, I had to get S.M.A.R.T. with my goals. See what I did there?

Now, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like this all happened overnight. And I was still struggling to get back to a routine and work toward what I wanted. Hypnotherapy isn’t a “magic pill” or a “quick fix.” It’s a way to quickly remove the blockages in your mind to create a smoother ride as you make your way toward your purpose. Think of it as removing the road bumps on the freeway so you can drive faster without any interruptions.

Two weeks after my session, as if the Universe knew what I needed, my oldest nephew showed up at my door. He was going through a difficult time and needed a fresh start. In helping him, I don’t think he realized how much he was helping me. I now had to keep myself accountable and someone to show up for who needed an example to follow. If there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s that my driving force is and has always been my nieces and nephews. I had to set the pace and flow for pursuing your dreams and by so doing that, not only was I going to make mine a reality, but I was also guiding my nephew to conquer his.

And just like that, I had a running buddy again. In no way was I trying to replace my friend, but I needed the accountability he and I had found in each other to get myself going again. I knew the only acceptable person to do that with was my nephew. And I knew my friend would be pleased and would definitely approve. If I’m being truthful, I feel like my friend sent my nephew to me. I went from running a little less than a mile and struggling at the end, to knocking out three miles without stopping. It’s amazing what you can do when you have someone pushing you along.

And maybe that’s what life is really all about. Knowing what we want and what we need and not being afraid to ask for help from those who can assist in getting us there. Even if it’s just running alongside you while you both listen to music. Or sitting at your side as they guide you through your mind to remove all the clutter. Life is a solo journey but there’s no shame in needing our tribe, or a professional, to push us along if we fall down every now and again. Because let’s face it, we WILL fall down. Though the fall downs are an important part of life, getting back up is what makes them meaningful. So here’s to falling down because the comebacks are always better and stronger than before.

#blog #blogging #blogpost #friendship #hypnotherapy #mentalhealth